Rebel Within

18 - Jan 2022

Do you have a rebellious streak? Are you a bit of a rule-breaker? Or aspire to be?

Being part of the ‘Status Quo’ makes me feel uncomfortable. I guess I’ve always been a bit of a rebel or at least been treated like one. I put it down to my insatiable curiosity. And you know what they say about curiosity and cats!

‘Rebel, rebel, your life is a mess’…

I believe I’ve been labelled as rebellious, wilful, strong-willed, stubborn, too big for her own boots, perfectionist, control-freak … There are a million and one ways to put me down. I’ve heard them all. I’ve believed them. Until now.

Why has it taken me so long?

Now is my time. Time to take back all those labels and throw them at the moon. I’ve decided that this full moon is a time for me to lament and celebrate.

Lament my former existence of trying to lead a good life as part of the status quo - and failing miserably. Celebrate my freedom from all that and start to live my true life; authentically, creatively, seeking the truth within and without.

Here is a poem I wrote about a year ago when the moon was full. Hope you enjoy.

Poem ‘4 a.m’

She wakes me from sleep

With her stillness

More than once

Wakes me

Like a mewling infant

Only without sound

I feel her calling me

Through shuttered windows

Sense her cool white gaze

Blistering my skin

My body stirs

Like shifting sands

Pulled from high to low

And back again

Emotions wax

And wane

As I shift between

Sleep and wakefulness

It is not yet morning

Sleep eludes me

Yet I dream of sleep

I implore her to

Let

Me

Be

She ignores my pleas

Or is perhaps oblivious

Preoccupied by fullness

Her big

Round face

Radiates beauty

She lured me awake

And as I lay captive

I wonder

What was her intention?

Is she delighting

At disturbing me

From clumsy slumber?

I share silent hours with her

And begin to see her aloofness

As aloneness

And marvel

At her resilience