27 - Jan
Never underestimate the positive power of friendship.
I had some testing feelings yesterday. I took myself out into the woods for a walk. The walk did me good but the mood stayed with me.
I tried to be curious about it without over-analysing or being judgmental. Sometimes small things can bring on deeply depressive moods, or bigger things or a combination of both.
I was able to explain to my hubbie that when I am caught in those moments I want to withdraw. I don’t want people, especially those closest to me, to see me when I’m feeling that low.
Perhaps you have experienced that? Or are living with someone who is like that.
Extreme mood swings are hard to fathom. Of course menopause can be a factor. I don’t want to over analyse the causes but rather make the point that at the very times when you need your friends the most you shun them. Almost as if you want to shield them from your pain. No-one wants to be around a complainer, right?
One thing I can offer here is to try writing it out. Write about your feelings rather than leave them in your head. Get them out. Then seek out some connection with someone who is good for your soul.
Now you have your feelings ‘out’ you can chat about other stuff. I used to worry that I was putting on a ‘false front’, an ‘everything’s fine’ falseness. I no longer think that way.
I need to talk about what changed my mindset another time